The Troll Song

I've written the Troll Song describing my mission statement as a Big Mean Troll. The music can be found here.

I can’t believe it! The way you loot sometimes
Like you’re cracking heads on goblin kids, aaargh!
And I don’t want it, the trinkets you’re offering me
Cheap glass pearls, fake jewellery, oh noes!

‘Cause I’m a 21st century digital troll
I don’t know how to live but I’ve got a lot of gold
My goblins are lazy middle class intellectuals
They’re all watching Oprah, so ineffectual
Aint’ life a mystery?

I can’t explain it, the things they’re yelling at me
It’s going argharghargharghargh, oh yeah

‘Cause I’m a 21st century digital troll
I don’t know how to read but I’ve got a lot of gold
My goblins are lazy middle class intellectuals
They’re all hooked on Springer, so ineffectual
Aint’ life a mystery?

I tried tell you about owning no gold
But now I really don’t know,
And then you told me how bad you had to suffer
What do you think my goblins had to offer?

See I’m a 21st century digital troll
I do know how to steal and I’ve got a lot of gold
My goblins are lazy middle class intellectuals
They’re all like Homer Simpson, so ineffectual

That’s what I yearn for
Big, mean trolls scream for more
Goblin-onna’-stick roast over fire
Everything I want I really do need
21st century schizoid troll
21st century video troll
21st century digital troll
21st century sofa troll