So I get this call from a telemarketing goblin who’s trying to bully me into signing a subscription for some or another of these so-called “Men’s Magazines” i.e. gadgets, girls and mancare. Yeah, ‘mancare’ as in “why hello there, I’m just so metrosexual!”, I mean jeeze, it’s ok to be gay just don’t try to pitch me the idea that I have to use ‘mancare’ and be ‘metrosexual’ or else I’m just not that hip or cool. I’m perfectly happy being un-hip, un-cool and extremely un-mancared.
Anyway
For the super-low price of a mere 150 bucks I would be the proud subscriber of Café, the envy of my friends and the pride of the family. Right. And moreover the generous goblin would throw in the free DVD’s of my choice! How could I lose? I’ll tell you how: I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in reading about the copycat lifestyle of the rich and the famous, I don’t need Armani suits, Breitling watches or hot silicone babes to feel good about myself (if anything, a silicone babe would make me uncomfortable) and puh-lease, if I want to watch a movie I’ll dl it and stream it. After all, we live in the Internet Age (a.k.a. The Stupid Age).
I don’t care that you spend your miserable days fantasising about scantly clad women or trying to catch up about the latest pointless gadgets, as is it indifferent to me which cologne to wear at the Grammy’s. And if I ever want to know anything about reality-TV and the moronic language thereof I’ll brows Aftonblaskan, it’s free.
